4-3-2013
Well, I decided that I will keep on trucking as Z.L. Last week I just kind of crashed with discouragement. Nobody was baptizing and it had been a few weeks since I was able to baptize someone. I just felt like I was coming up short. The Assistants were breathing down my neck because there are a lot of Elders that just don't want to work in my zone. On top of that, when my companion got here he starting complaining about the poor work going on in the zone. But I ended up making peace with my companion. We had a Zone Leader Counsel with the President, and our zone is starting to teach more, and the future is looking brighter!
Well, I decided that I will keep on trucking as Z.L. Last week I just kind of crashed with discouragement. Nobody was baptizing and it had been a few weeks since I was able to baptize someone. I just felt like I was coming up short. The Assistants were breathing down my neck because there are a lot of Elders that just don't want to work in my zone. On top of that, when my companion got here he starting complaining about the poor work going on in the zone. But I ended up making peace with my companion. We had a Zone Leader Counsel with the President, and our zone is starting to teach more, and the future is looking brighter!
By the way, your advice did not hurt my feelings in any way. It was just a short dark time for my mission. Everything difficult seemed to happen all at once and yesterday was the first time in 8 months that I wasn't able to bring at least one investigator to church. That was really hard for me, but I fasted yesterday and today and I am feeling a lot better! I feel like I'm coming out of this discouragement that I’ve been feeling. I know that you may be thinking that there are harder jobs out there than a mission, and as far as I know, there are! But when you are trying to earn the satisfaction of the Lord for your efforts, things become a lot heavier. I remember when I got in my first "fight" in middle school and I was suspended for the day. Dad didn't really get mad at me, but just said, "I'm disappointed in you Jess," and left it at that. That was one of the worst feelings ever. Losing that trust in someone that you love so much, destroys you. This week when I felt those impressions, that my Heavenly Father was disappointed in me, I just got really down. When the Assistants told me that the Area President of the Seventy said to our mission, “The work in this mission has not been satisfactory,” I really got to thinking that I have to do better! Please pray that I can improve in my calling, because I don't want to give up my position; but I also don't want to feel like I have failed as a leader.
By the way, I got Nana's package and I loved it! I shared the Beef pepperoni sticks with my companion and he loved them. I also got the package from you guys. I can’t wait to eat the Lucky Charms but we don't have milk because our refrigerator is broken and has been for 3 months. But tomorrow it will be fixed, and I can’t wait. I freaking love my pen! I will use it EVERY DAY. Oh yes, I got the package from Tiffy too and I loved it as well! Her packages are always the most delicious to me because of the Jalapeno Pretzel Pieces that she always sends! I love her, and tell Dan thanks for the Valentine!
By the way, I got Nana's package and I loved it! I shared the Beef pepperoni sticks with my companion and he loved them. I also got the package from you guys. I can’t wait to eat the Lucky Charms but we don't have milk because our refrigerator is broken and has been for 3 months. But tomorrow it will be fixed, and I can’t wait. I freaking love my pen! I will use it EVERY DAY. Oh yes, I got the package from Tiffy too and I loved it as well! Her packages are always the most delicious to me because of the Jalapeno Pretzel Pieces that she always sends! I love her, and tell Dan thanks for the Valentine!
I gave my Nike shirt to a Brazilian who needed it, but it was a white shirt, with a faded U of O written in big letters with a little chest pocket with the Nike emblem on the outside of the pocket.
I love you all and miss you all as well.
God Speed
God Speed
Elder Smidt X
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