1-08-12
Well hello family!!! How are you all doing? This week I received letters from Britt, Taylor Wood (a pleasant surprise), Tiff and the kids, and mom and dad, and I love every one of them. As for the emails from John, I haven't been getting anything. My email is jesse.smidt@myldsmail.net. At least I feel a little better now knowing that he has been trying to write me and hasn't been completely ignoring me. :) It made me really happy to see that letter from Sister Lourdes to you mom. She is so awesome. Dad, the Long board looks freaking SWEET!!! You had me at bright green wheels.
Well, this week has been humbling. I’ve been living without food and without electricity. I spent all my money and nobody paid the electrical bill before the required date. Also, I didn't want to use my own money to buy food because I accidentally led my companion out of the way one day for the wrong address for our lunch appointment. It was at least 7 miles away from the right address. I felt bad that my companion and I would go without lunch for that day because of my mistake. So I bought us lunch with my card. For that reason, I did not buy food for this week. I'm now starting to really try hard to not use my own card. Also, it’s winter time here in Montes Claros, even though its summer temps. But at night it has been really cooling down. Since the showers are electrically heated, taking cold showers in the mornings has been a blessing. I never knew I could wash my body and get showered so fast.
Well, we got a new zone leader this week and his name is Elder Nakarato. The reputation that goes with his name is not a pleasant one. Almost everyone in the mission knows who he is, but it’s because of how intense he is. There will be no slacking off! Many people may not know my name in the mission, but I try to make sure that my name goes out with a good reputation and I want to keep it that way.
Well hello family!!! How are you all doing? This week I received letters from Britt, Taylor Wood (a pleasant surprise), Tiff and the kids, and mom and dad, and I love every one of them. As for the emails from John, I haven't been getting anything. My email is jesse.smidt@myldsmail.net. At least I feel a little better now knowing that he has been trying to write me and hasn't been completely ignoring me. :) It made me really happy to see that letter from Sister Lourdes to you mom. She is so awesome. Dad, the Long board looks freaking SWEET!!! You had me at bright green wheels.
Well, this week has been humbling. I’ve been living without food and without electricity. I spent all my money and nobody paid the electrical bill before the required date. Also, I didn't want to use my own money to buy food because I accidentally led my companion out of the way one day for the wrong address for our lunch appointment. It was at least 7 miles away from the right address. I felt bad that my companion and I would go without lunch for that day because of my mistake. So I bought us lunch with my card. For that reason, I did not buy food for this week. I'm now starting to really try hard to not use my own card. Also, it’s winter time here in Montes Claros, even though its summer temps. But at night it has been really cooling down. Since the showers are electrically heated, taking cold showers in the mornings has been a blessing. I never knew I could wash my body and get showered so fast.
Well, we got a new zone leader this week and his name is Elder Nakarato. The reputation that goes with his name is not a pleasant one. Almost everyone in the mission knows who he is, but it’s because of how intense he is. There will be no slacking off! Many people may not know my name in the mission, but I try to make sure that my name goes out with a good reputation and I want to keep it that way.
Ai ai ai. I'm not going to lie, my new companion is a struggle. This week has probably been the most difficult of the mission, and this transfer will be very difficult as well. Elder Atencio has 5 months in the mission, and is from Argentina. He has the strongest Spanish accent possible, even everybody that we teach cannot understand him. I still have a bit of an American accent, so sometimes it’s difficult teaching others. I don't understand 80% of what he says to me. Also, he seems to have a little bit of an issue with accepting feedback. It is for this reason that I entered into "Red Zone" yesterday.
You may be thinking, "Elder Smidt, please share your knowledge on the subject 'Red Zone' for us". Well, Red Zone is the most dangerous area in my brain. Im a little embarrassed to share this with you. Only three times I can think of in my life, I have gone into red zone. One time when I got into my first fight with a kid named Corey Odale in the locker room after P.E., another time when I became involved in an argument with my great friend about a girl, and one time at a birthday party when I ripped another guys shirt. In every instance, being in red zone, is a state of being that once in, is very difficult to get out of. It’s a state of great anger. The reason why it’s called Red Zone, is because when I am in Red Zone, I see nothing but what I am looking at directly. I have no peripheral vision, everything else is red. If I'm looking at someone’s face, I only see the face floating in a sea of Red. Also, I can’t control my actions or thoughts or words when in Red Zone. It is very dangerous. Now that you know what Red Zone is, let me explain how I arrived there yesterday.
We were teaching a lesson, and we were talking earlier that day of how we needed to teach more simply because the people were becoming lost during the lessons. But every suggestion that I made to my companion, he disregarded it, and continued in the same manner. I also told him that we should have more respect for the people and not mock them for the churches that they attend. The next lesson he made a mockery of the catholic church, seriously offending a family. After that lesson I pulled him to the side-walk and just calmly said, “let’s talk”. I was feeling the blood starting to boil but I tried to keep my composure. I told him as calmly as I could, that in this companionship I am the Senior, and what I suggest, is what we do. As I said this, he starting laughing in my face....... Red Zone. I lost it then and there. Everything became instantly red. I started to feel the vein bulging in my neck, and I let the words just fly. After about 10 minutes of hurtful words and accusing questions, it was his tears that brought me to a halt.
I don't share this story with you in a way to complain, or to show that I'm brave in the face of those who reject me. I tell you this story to show you how much of an idiot I was at that moment. I felt so incredibly sad at that moment when I saw my companion crying. I had humiliated a Servant of Christ. I could have handled the situation way better than I did. My heart immediately softened. I then proceeded to tell him how sorry I was, and that if he was not willing to forgive, I would understand. Thankfully, we ended up hugging it out. But the guilt that I have still lays in my heart like a cinder block. I brought shame at that moment to the Smidt name.
Well, I'm sorry that this email has been extremely long, I just thought I would share with you guys a huge growing moment for me that I had this week. I love you all so very much. I encourage you all to practice the Christ-like attribute, Patience. The result that comes from lack of patience is always ugly.
God Speed.
You may be thinking, "Elder Smidt, please share your knowledge on the subject 'Red Zone' for us". Well, Red Zone is the most dangerous area in my brain. Im a little embarrassed to share this with you. Only three times I can think of in my life, I have gone into red zone. One time when I got into my first fight with a kid named Corey Odale in the locker room after P.E., another time when I became involved in an argument with my great friend about a girl, and one time at a birthday party when I ripped another guys shirt. In every instance, being in red zone, is a state of being that once in, is very difficult to get out of. It’s a state of great anger. The reason why it’s called Red Zone, is because when I am in Red Zone, I see nothing but what I am looking at directly. I have no peripheral vision, everything else is red. If I'm looking at someone’s face, I only see the face floating in a sea of Red. Also, I can’t control my actions or thoughts or words when in Red Zone. It is very dangerous. Now that you know what Red Zone is, let me explain how I arrived there yesterday.
We were teaching a lesson, and we were talking earlier that day of how we needed to teach more simply because the people were becoming lost during the lessons. But every suggestion that I made to my companion, he disregarded it, and continued in the same manner. I also told him that we should have more respect for the people and not mock them for the churches that they attend. The next lesson he made a mockery of the catholic church, seriously offending a family. After that lesson I pulled him to the side-walk and just calmly said, “let’s talk”. I was feeling the blood starting to boil but I tried to keep my composure. I told him as calmly as I could, that in this companionship I am the Senior, and what I suggest, is what we do. As I said this, he starting laughing in my face....... Red Zone. I lost it then and there. Everything became instantly red. I started to feel the vein bulging in my neck, and I let the words just fly. After about 10 minutes of hurtful words and accusing questions, it was his tears that brought me to a halt.
I don't share this story with you in a way to complain, or to show that I'm brave in the face of those who reject me. I tell you this story to show you how much of an idiot I was at that moment. I felt so incredibly sad at that moment when I saw my companion crying. I had humiliated a Servant of Christ. I could have handled the situation way better than I did. My heart immediately softened. I then proceeded to tell him how sorry I was, and that if he was not willing to forgive, I would understand. Thankfully, we ended up hugging it out. But the guilt that I have still lays in my heart like a cinder block. I brought shame at that moment to the Smidt name.
Well, I'm sorry that this email has been extremely long, I just thought I would share with you guys a huge growing moment for me that I had this week. I love you all so very much. I encourage you all to practice the Christ-like attribute, Patience. The result that comes from lack of patience is always ugly.
God Speed.
Elder Smidt X
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